Seriously.
I don't really care what my life amounts to in this life. So long as God is pleased with me. Seriously.
I don't care if my dreams come true or not. Sure I want them to, but its not the end of the world if they don't.
I want God's plans for my life, not mine. honestly, I'm dead serious.
God loves me more than anyone on this earth, I know that for a fact. He has put people on this earth to help me with knowing how to live for Him better.
Some people want to make their mark on the world. That's awesome!. really it is. But for me, I just want to make a mark on the people I know and love. I want to view every single person I met with new eyes. No more of me being my judgmental self. That is probably the thing I struggle with most. Sometimes I don't even realize how judgmental I am about people until I meet them and see they aren't all that bad after all.
But anyway back to what I was saying.
If God wants me to make a big impression on this world then so be it. But from what I can see at this moment in time, that doesn't seem to be what He made me for. But I don't know.
I want to have a family. Right now I am working on being more willing to cook and clean.
Okay. dang. Its hard not to be selfish when writing all this. I really mean every word I say, but there is still that tendency to say just the right thing so other people think you're this great person, or you are more "spiritual". Or mature for your age.
-----
Here's the deal. I'm a terrible person. I want so much to be good, but I can't. I'm a wretched sinful person just like every single person on this planet.
There is no such thing as a truly good person. I mean there are great people. But no one would be even close to good if it weren't for God's amazing Mercy and grace and Love.
----
You know. Sometimes when you step back and look at others people's lives (not judgmentally) you realize that your life really isn't that bad. It dawns on you that you have no reason to complain.
My life is so great compared to others I know about, I can't believe how much God has blessed me. I have a family who loves me. A church that is real for once, instead of filled with a bunch of hypocrites. A church where they preach what is real instead of a watered down version of the Bible. Where they hold you accountable in order that you may grow wise and grow closer to God.
Friends who I can be almost brutally honest with (brutally as in completely.. not outspoken like).
A house. A dog. A guitar. and on and on this list goes.
I can't complain. But I do. I'm trying so hard not to. But I still do, and I guess I always will. I have made one improvement though, I know when I am complaining now. And I want to do something about it.
Come to think of it, I could get easily depressed with how I'm not gonna be able to get there, to get to the point where I am satisfied with how I act and how my heart is. I'm never gonna be complete in this life. Never gonna be perfect. But you know what. Thats not what this life is for. Life is to Love God with every fiber of your being. That, my friends, is life. It doesn't matter if I'm not perfect. Yes I live for God and therefore turn away from sin. But I don't have to be perfect. God loves me just the same. But. This life is to minister to those around us. Every single person isn't just a person. They are people with souls! They are so much more than just people. Anyway. I guess what I'm trying say is. Heaven is my Home. Heaven is where I'll be perfect. Heaven is my fatherland. So thats why I press on every day. Heaven is where I'm meant for. Heaven is where I will be. And there, I'll have no more worries, no sorrow, no jugmentalness. Wow.
I want to live life and all. But I mean come on guys. Dieing has got to be one heck of a ride. Dieing is gonna be the best thing that has ever happened to me.
But still.. I want to live. I want to get married and all that stuff. But I want to live as long as I can so that I can spread the gospel to every soul that I can. Seriously.
I mean that.
I don't care if my dreams come true or not. Sure I want them to, but its not the end of the world if they don't.
I want God's plans for my life, not mine. honestly, I'm dead serious.
God loves me more than anyone on this earth, I know that for a fact. He has put people on this earth to help me with knowing how to live for Him better.
Some people want to make their mark on the world. That's awesome!. really it is. But for me, I just want to make a mark on the people I know and love. I want to view every single person I met with new eyes. No more of me being my judgmental self. That is probably the thing I struggle with most. Sometimes I don't even realize how judgmental I am about people until I meet them and see they aren't all that bad after all.
But anyway back to what I was saying.
If God wants me to make a big impression on this world then so be it. But from what I can see at this moment in time, that doesn't seem to be what He made me for. But I don't know.
I want to have a family. Right now I am working on being more willing to cook and clean.
Okay. dang. Its hard not to be selfish when writing all this. I really mean every word I say, but there is still that tendency to say just the right thing so other people think you're this great person, or you are more "spiritual". Or mature for your age.
-----
Here's the deal. I'm a terrible person. I want so much to be good, but I can't. I'm a wretched sinful person just like every single person on this planet.
There is no such thing as a truly good person. I mean there are great people. But no one would be even close to good if it weren't for God's amazing Mercy and grace and Love.
----
You know. Sometimes when you step back and look at others people's lives (not judgmentally) you realize that your life really isn't that bad. It dawns on you that you have no reason to complain.
My life is so great compared to others I know about, I can't believe how much God has blessed me. I have a family who loves me. A church that is real for once, instead of filled with a bunch of hypocrites. A church where they preach what is real instead of a watered down version of the Bible. Where they hold you accountable in order that you may grow wise and grow closer to God.
Friends who I can be almost brutally honest with (brutally as in completely.. not outspoken like).
A house. A dog. A guitar. and on and on this list goes.
I can't complain. But I do. I'm trying so hard not to. But I still do, and I guess I always will. I have made one improvement though, I know when I am complaining now. And I want to do something about it.
Come to think of it, I could get easily depressed with how I'm not gonna be able to get there, to get to the point where I am satisfied with how I act and how my heart is. I'm never gonna be complete in this life. Never gonna be perfect. But you know what. Thats not what this life is for. Life is to Love God with every fiber of your being. That, my friends, is life. It doesn't matter if I'm not perfect. Yes I live for God and therefore turn away from sin. But I don't have to be perfect. God loves me just the same. But. This life is to minister to those around us. Every single person isn't just a person. They are people with souls! They are so much more than just people. Anyway. I guess what I'm trying say is. Heaven is my Home. Heaven is where I'll be perfect. Heaven is my fatherland. So thats why I press on every day. Heaven is where I'm meant for. Heaven is where I will be. And there, I'll have no more worries, no sorrow, no jugmentalness. Wow.
I want to live life and all. But I mean come on guys. Dieing has got to be one heck of a ride. Dieing is gonna be the best thing that has ever happened to me.
But still.. I want to live. I want to get married and all that stuff. But I want to live as long as I can so that I can spread the gospel to every soul that I can. Seriously.
I mean that.
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