(no subject)
Ok so I'm trying hard not to dwell on something that I've already wrote about. But what if thats the only thing on my mind? I'm trying really hard not to dwell on someone I knew 2 years, on something that happened 2 years ago. So that being said, I'm attempting to write about other things. (i don't think I will be successful. honestly)
I'm having a hard time letting my tears flow. The reality of him not being here anymore I keep pushing away. I keep pushing all the memories of 3 weeks ago in the hospital. It just doesn't seem like he should be gone. But I can't cry in front of anyone. I have no where I can go to be completely alone. If I did I could cry all I want. But I don't want to cry in front of my parents. Why is that?
And, because of that I keep pushing the reality of his death away. Like it never happened and if I just go over there he'll be there in his chair waiting for a hug.
And you wanna know something strange. I'm sitting here listen to Apple Bottom Jeans while writing all this. These songs get my mind off myself and turns my mind to thinking things like "dude this is a bad song, Why am I listening to it.... Our world is whacked. really badly."
"Apple bottom jeans... boots with the furrr (with the furrrrr)"
Its gotta a great beat.
anywho.
I think I am done.
ohh and I get to eat Chick-fil-a.. this make me happy. well as happy as I can be expected to get about eating.
I'm having a hard time letting my tears flow. The reality of him not being here anymore I keep pushing away. I keep pushing all the memories of 3 weeks ago in the hospital. It just doesn't seem like he should be gone. But I can't cry in front of anyone. I have no where I can go to be completely alone. If I did I could cry all I want. But I don't want to cry in front of my parents. Why is that?
And, because of that I keep pushing the reality of his death away. Like it never happened and if I just go over there he'll be there in his chair waiting for a hug.
And you wanna know something strange. I'm sitting here listen to Apple Bottom Jeans while writing all this. These songs get my mind off myself and turns my mind to thinking things like "dude this is a bad song, Why am I listening to it.... Our world is whacked. really badly."
"Apple bottom jeans... boots with the furrr (with the furrrrr)"
Its gotta a great beat.
anywho.
I think I am done.
ohh and I get to eat Chick-fil-a.. this make me happy. well as happy as I can be expected to get about eating.
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