This maybe short.

Or it could end up being long. We'll see. 

First. I have to start out quoting Marissa. By the way Marissa. I need to borrow that book =P Actually. I might just buy it as soon as I can. Cause that's the one book (other than the Bible) that I want to read more than anything. Anyways. I guess I should tell you guys what the book is right? Its Francis Chan’s book, Crazy Love.  I would write this is my own words, but Marissa puts it so well I really couldn't say it half as good. I will put my name in though. Just so it really hits home with me again.

"... amidst a myriad of other impacting points, Chan makes one that especially spoke to me. It stays with me through my days. It pops into my mind at the most inopportune moments, the moments in which I want to be selfish and angry, and deprives me (or relieves me?) of the typical scenes ensuing from my selfishness and anger.

To give a bit of background, here is the paragraph preceding the one that has thus affected me.

'Paul writes that even if ‘I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing’ (1 Cor. 13:2-3 ESV). Wow. Those are strong and unmistakable words. According to God, we are here to love. Not much else really matters” (Crazy Love, 93-94).

And now the part that got to me.

'So God assesses our lives based on how we love. But the word love is so overused and worn out. What does God mean by love? He tells us, ‘Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own ways; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. . . . faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love’ (1 Cor. 13:4-8 ESV).

'But even these words have grown tired and overly familiar, haven’t they?

'I was challenged to do a little exercise with these verses, one that was profoundly convicting. Take the phrase Love is patient and substitute your name for the word love. . . . Do it for every phrase in the passage' (Crazy Love, 94).

So, read this: “Bethany is patient and kind: Bethany does not envy or boast; she is not arrogant or rude. She does not insist on her own way; she is not irritable or resentful; she does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Bethany bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Is that not convicting? 

-----different subject, sorta kinda, not really.----- =P

Also. I've been going through alot this week. Nothing bad at all. Something actually quite amazing. But more than that I've been really struggling to keep myself from letting things, or people, get above God. Then it hit me. I can't do it without God. Haha no duh, right? But I just realized how easily we forget that God is here with us, right now, helping us go through anything and everything. Also. My favorite Bible verse comes to mind. 

"Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ."

I think I need to read it again. 

^"Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. "- 2 Corinthians 1:21

We can't do it on our own. I can't do it by myself. I have to have God making me stand firm in Christ. 

How Wonderful is that? It's more than wonderful. It's encouraging. It helps me to realize that maybe I'm not such a failure after all. Not when I have God with me. So its not, I'm gonna keep God 1st. No, its more like,  He is gonna help me keep Him 1st. Or according to that verse. He is gonna make us stand firm in Him. I don't think its "make us" in the sense of ordering us to. Yes, He does command us to love Him with all of our hearts. But also. I think it means He just help us. Although I'm looking for a better word than help. I don't know. I can't explain it. 

...I hope all of that makes sense.